O.N.E

kita isi empty spaces dengan empty words

hanya kerana...

kita tidak mahu menghadapi semua kekosongan dalam diri

we fill the silence with empty sounds.

BUT THEN...

I don't know where it comes from but it's what I hold on to.

and I can't let go

sumwhere inside me, I noe that it always wanted me.

but then maybe it just got lost

and now I will never feel empty, never feel silence.

as it has reached me. all I have to do is listen.

because it now surrounds us.

all we have to do is LISTEN. with our heart.

~ a GIRL not yet a WOMAN ~

this few weeks, I went through my life as a different person. no more gossiping cerita- cerita sensasi with my babes, no more hang out with loved ones. no more ordinary routine. my life was dull & empty.

kenapa ini terjadi? diri pun tidak tahu. semua berlaku secara tiba-tiba. kini diri hanya bertemankan monolog dalaman. sendiri. mungkin itu lebih baik. atau mungkin tidak.

perempuan, girl, women memang kompleks dan makhluk yang penuh dengan emosi. yes! that makes us unique yet complicated because even we, ourselves can't understand what we really need.

cuma harap orang akan faham diri memang sesukar itu.

~ HanYa DoA dApAt DiKiRiM ~

sudah dua hari umat Islam berpuasa...
juga sudah tiga hari papa kesayangan saya berada di wad...
he's got high fever...

apabila dapat tahu, diri rasa ingin terus balik
tapi papa cakap komitmen untuk belajar perlu diutamakan
kerana dia tidak berada pada tahap yang membimbangkan...

diri terus bertahan
terus teringat saat-saat bersahur, berpuasa & berbuka bersama family
sumpah rindu!

papa....
hold on k...
and my prayer will always be with you...ALWAYS....
do get well soon....amin.

and I know I need to be stronger than I am before. dun worry. I will.

~ Journey For HAPPYness ~

I love lists. I always write assignment lists, shopping lists, movies-to-watch lists, books-to-read lists, wish lists, and most famously, the ever present, things-to-do lists.

today, while writing my to-do list, I realized that sometimes I will make some note at the bottom. either "good luck" , "fighting!" or "find happiness". but then I realized that sometimes I write "make happiness". I began to ponder the actions of my subconscious. I know this sounds like something lacking much substance. but I wondered why the difference? I went searching through my purse and drawer - found some older lists. sometimes I wrote "hold on!", sometimes "smile more often =)". of course there is mix up between "find and make happiness". but then something surprised me. sometimes, ever so simply, I've penned "LOVE yourself"


these little notes written to me don't contain words of wisdom, they aren't written eloquently and they aren't written with any talent. but I do think that they hold meaning and truth. it's funny what our head does when it's reacting to the heart. maybe one of these days I'll stop shoving the lists into my bag and start listening to what my heart is trying to have me to see.