Saturday, December 24, 2011


one day, Bella Gilbert brought her boyfriend, Edward to her family dinner.

while Bella was helping her mother in the kitchen, Edward was left with Mr. Gilbert to do the barbecue. Edward was very nervous and trying very hard to bring up comfortable conversation with Mr. Gilbert. but after a moment of silent, Edward was awakened with a conversation that he will never forget. only with a simple question, a sincere answer  and lead to a meaningful outcome.

Mr. Gilbert: do you love my daughter?

Edward: Yes Sir, with all my heart.

Mr. Gilbert: Good. then you should always remember that during your hard time with her. always.

People says mothers are much more connected with their children.
but, I guess fathers also have their own instinct. even they rarely show in front of the children.
or maybe never shown at all.

somehow, I think that is rather sweet and charming sides of you, dear fathers  :)

Sunday, December 11, 2011

~ MiRRoR tEsT ~

I am a big believer in the "mirror test".
All that matter is if you can look in the mirror and honestly tell the person you see there, that you've done your best.

my career life has give me new challenge that there is time when I feel to give up. undeniably, I realize we have had our ups and downs but that is what makes us different. Even though you may want to move forward in your life, there always something holding you back. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.

After all, we survived, we're still here. That is when you know nothing can actually break you apart, it just makes you stronger and I honestly would not have it any other way.

for now, I'm learning to be free.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

~ when LoVeRs become StRaNgeRs ~

am currently listening to Coldplay songs. the songs always sooth me. like you're surrounded by the beauty of nature and there's nothing to bother you.

I read somewhere that if you're going to cry, you can recite the colour of things to make it stop. green tree, yellow skirt, blue sky, blue jeans, blue eyes. it may work sometime, but not all the time. how I miss to talk to someone. it's amazing, some people, they just say these small little things, one sentence and it changes the way you fell about them in an instant. small little words that can hurt you so much or make you fall deeply in love forever. it changes everything. nothing between you is ever really the same again, even if they don't know it. and I don't blame you for questioning why people fall in love.

the truth is, strangers became friends for some unknown reasons. some friends become lovers eventually. then, when lovers cannot work things out and break-up, almost always, they end up becoming total strangers again. it has been a cycle. and it must not be.

it's such a shame when lovers become strangers.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Can You FeeL the Magic?

I met you for a reason

the greatest weakness of most human is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they are still alive.

if you like someone, if seeing his or her makes you happy and if you feel like you know his or her even without talking, then don't let that someone go. in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what you have, the right person will think the sun shines out of your ass. that's the kind of person that is worth sticking with.  

and now d distance has become a challenge to us. as last time you told me, missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are at least one day closer to the next time you will see them. 

that's what I've been hold on until now and I hope the next time I see us, we can make the best of it.

Monday, August 29, 2011

compassionate ~

honestly, I don't have much feeling to celebrate Raya this year.

master degree saya masih dalam proses application. hampir putus asa dengan proses yang agak menyukarkan kerana faktor jarak. hidup mengalami perubahan drastik tapi kosong. i keep praying tapi manusia biasa lumrahnya memang suka mempersoalkan.

Ramadhan is such a blessed month. it brings hope to me. it makes me realize not to wonder  why Allah doesn't grant my wishes immediately as He also doesn't punish me immediately for all of my mistakes.for the mistake of questioning, of giving up easily, of losing hope. surely, You are most merciful.

for now, I am just being thankful and praying that I will meet Ramadhan again in next years. anyway, have a wonderful Eid celebration peeps :)

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

~ hYp0cRiTeS ~

now you'll realize when people stop talking to you, they'll start talking about you.and in the end you always go back to the people who where there for you in the beginning. when it comes to this situation, I salute the above quote.

Monday, August 8, 2011

~ meLancHoLiC ~

he always told me that reality is nice. because he could met me.

I've known him forever. i know how he always like the idea of getting up in the morning and make a morning call to his lover. how he would rather not to smoke in front of his lover. he's considerate like that. though sometimes he will be an annoying person when he turns to an ignorance.

my thoughts somehow are always with you. I wonder what you're doing and who you're with.I wonder if you still love to go to karaoke when you feel stress. I wonder if you still go to movies while i'm not around. I wonder how your days have been. I always wonder every little thing about you.

you know why? because you are my anchor, my pillar, my strength, my hope, my universe and supremely my everything. I am glad the last time I saw you, you seem to be in perfectly-well condition. we were just fine.

then reality hits me.

I love you, you love her. 

now I vote one for reality is cruel.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

~ Phases of Growing Up ~

my super cool roomates
( mar, yong & ain )
awesome roomates :)
( wanie, ain, ean, juma )
my Gfs forever

best buddy ;)
bestie, Diana :)

i used to spend my student's life with them... it was fun although we fight with each other sometimes. 

kawan- kawan yang dah kerja selalu pesan, hargai saat2 jadi pelajar. dulu tyme belajar buat tak kesah jea pesanan tu. tp sekarang bila dah habis baru faham kata2 tu. the statement is true, indeed. life as a student is precious as compared to commitment life. i mean the commitment towards studying is super fun if compared to working life. dulu tyme belajar sempat lagi nak enjoy2, hantar assignment last minute, study pun last minute,  kawan selalu ada kat sekeliling. sekarang kalau semua nak buat last minute, duit pun last lah masuk. kawan- kawan pun dah dengan life masing-masing. 

now, baru nak start fikir pasal future. it's not an easy task as I can't decide it for myself. rasa macam nak duk kat rumah jea jadi suri rumahtangga yang bertauliah. honestly, I hate to realize that this reality has come to hit me. 

I hate to confess it but, oh I love being a student ;)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

~ Day 111 ~

everyday the same thoughts haunt my mind. everyday the same questions repeat themselves over and over like a constant echo in my head. everyday feels like a routine of the same emotions.


i look for an escape.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

~ cRuSh ~

hye.. I have a big crush on you.
okay bye.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

~ puzzle of complexity ~

and here comes the feeling of insecure. 
one simple advice. people that are meant to be together always find each other in the end. just walk along the path and leave the rest to fate :)

Sunday, May 8, 2011

~ Her Day ~

the moment a child is born, the mother is also born. she never existed before. the woman existed, but the mother, never.

honestly speaking, I am not so close with my mother. but as I grow older the relationship becomes close naturally. some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers. my mother scolds and kiss together. tipu ah kalau cakap saya tak jeles bila orang lain boleh anggap mak nie macam kawan baik gilerrrr... cause I can't do so. but I know I am lucky coz I got a mother like her. unique and has a superb sense of humour :)

Puan Shadiah:
thanks for everything
You're flawless & Love you so much.

p/s: happy mother's day to all mothers in the world. thanks for being the greatest mothers to your children. you're precious :)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

~ HoPe ~

when you are in trouble or feeling sad, people always tell you "everything will be alright." and you will get better sometimes after hearing the phrase. the question is are the situations will really be alright? or are we just want to sooth our feeling and lying to ourself?

i know it's hard for us to accept reality and most of us seem to blame anything other than ourselves. even i myself always blame others even i know that the problem was rooted from me. best ke kalau dapat tipu diri sendiri? ape susah. bila dah tahu tengah tipu diri sendiri tak payah lah fikir dah. kan senang. how i wish things could be settled as easy as 1,2,3.

manusia sekarang makin senang nak menipu. sesetengah dah jadikan hobi from the habit. but i still search for the honesty. really. it's hard. or i think we should play truth or dare. or maybe just dare because no one knows how to tell the truth anymore. i give up.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

~ cycles ~

either we are lovers or were lovers; friends turn into enemies or vice versa. we will still have a precious bond. it's just a cycle of relationship that will add some sparks in the path of life. :)

Thursday, April 7, 2011

connection ~

" falling in love and having a relationship are two different things "

Friday, March 25, 2011

~ Musim Mata Lebam ~

my final exam schedule:

1/ 4/ 2011 --->  Language for Occupational Purposes

2/ 4/ 2011 ---> World Literature in English

5/ 4/ 2011 ---> Arabic

7/ 4/ 2011 ---> Topics in Islamic Literature

9/ 4/ 2011 ---> Linguistics for Students of Literature

and mind you I will be done with my exam a week earlier than other students. I'm being quite satisfied as my subjects in earlier semester always ended in the last day of exam period.

but what bother me is that there's a saying or maybe a quote that says "80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read." interestingly, I've been very lazy this final semester and I can't figure out how many lectures that I've missed for each subjects that I'm taking =.='.

so, I've come out with the solution for my revision. as the more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as which answer they want. then, I won't give pressure for myself and try to read as less and compact as possible. see, who says revision is difficult?haha.good luck for those that will be sitting for examination. hope miracles will accompany all of us *-^

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

~ aNoThEr EncHanTmEnT ~

before you give up on someone, you've got to remember why you're still holding on. and when you found the reason why.just remember that something better will come along and never ever forget the things that once made you smile

Thursday, February 17, 2011

~ wRiTiNg CoUnTs ~

why do writers write? I sometimes can't understand what some sheets are all about. but for my courses. I have to. or else I would be stuck up in undergraduate for quite a long time. it's hard to find writings that really can satisfy us. but when you find one, you'll surely treasure it or maybe obsess into it. what I like in a good author is not about what he says, but what he whispers. 

I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions. for me, writing is like exploration. you seems like you don't know what to write. but most of the time, you'll be surprised where the journey takes you. 

I know writing wasn't easy to start.but one nice thing about putting the thing away for a couple of months before looking at it is that you start appreciate your own wit. of course, this can be carried too far. but it's kind of cool when you crack up a piece of writing. and then realize you wrote it. then you start appreciate it. I used to see about my first post till the latest once. it's kind of shame actually, but it does bring recommended feeling.

honestly, if there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. live in your imagination. be seductive. writers literally create new worlds from scratch. what is sexier than that?personally, I don't know why every person out there isn't dating a writer. 
I've got one ;)

I'll have my exam for my critical subject tomorrow, yet in my notes I don't understand what all the authors really want to convey. I think I will make up some illogical explanations tomorrow. or maybe most. dear MIRACLE, please come visit me tomorrow. please do.


Sunday, February 13, 2011

~ InSiDe hEr HeaD ~

they look at each other wondering what the other is thinking. but they never say a thing. they got their own interpretation. and the assumptions become the termites of their relationship.

she says she wants to be the girl that he'll love forever, the one that he'll never forget. she wants to be the girl that he'll always think about, and talk about to all your friends. she wants to be the girl that gives him butterflies when he see her; and when they touch, he'll tremble. for all the time she just want to be the girl that gives him the same feelings that he gives to her. in her defense, he doesn't seem to care for her, he doesn't appreciate her and she is unimportant. then, she decides to leave him for good, for his better future.

he sidled up to her from behind. "You..", he whispered. "Yes?". "Nothing". said him, taking her hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you.and I really want you.

now she realizes, there's no regrets. just love.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

cat lovers will adore above picture. I think. but at this moment, not for me. I guess the feeling will remain for quite a long time. if only I could blame the cycle of nature. if only I can put the blame on fate. as a person used to say, destroying is a necessary function in life. everything has its season, and all things eventually lose their effectiveness and die.

bukan ingin menyalahkan takdir. tapi kematian mereka berdua agak sukar untuk diterima. they are harmless. bukan salah mereka  untuk menjadi mangsa kucing pada hari itu. it's just I can't imagine how they fight for their survival. but death keep coming for them. I regret as I cannot save them. I regret that I'll never be there while they ask for help.

* thanks for bringing cheerful & precious moments to my family with your presence*
miss both of u so rest in peace :'((

Thursday, February 3, 2011

~ HoMe CoMiNg ~

late last night so far away.
I dreamed myself a dream.
and I dreamed I was all alone.

this morning, I woke up from my comfy bed.
well the sun was superb nice from my window view.
I said to myself: welcome Home.
I miss Papa's smile.
I long Mama's joke.
I miss homemade cooking.
I enjoy sibling's chat.

isn't it nice to be home again?
this is true heaven. you think this happens everyday?

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

would it be too demanding if I wish to have this kind of bedroom? ;)

Saturday, January 15, 2011

~ LeT y0u kNoW ~

I guess between things and people, the former are easier to possess.
but then we might lost the thing or misplaced it.
while for people, we will never misplace them.
because we know they were there.
but it could be that the feeling might not be the same. 

so Dear ***3055,
for all this while...


Monday, January 10, 2011

~ eMoTioNs ~

I feel annoyed when people interfere in my life while I never mingle with their matters.

I feel disturbed when people do not tell the truth .

I feel insecure when people stay away from me.

I feel unsettled when I lost my feelings for him.

I feel uneasy when my loved ones are in pain.

I feel lonely when I think about myself.

I feel empty when I forget about Him.

but I pray He will remember me :)

Friday, January 7, 2011

~ sAyA bAnKrAp ~

saya di dalam dilema sekarang. ya. dilema. dilema kewangan.

ini gara-gara kereta a.k.a bumbleBEE saya. lepas dah habis rm300 beli satu 'barang keperluan', sekarang kereta nak bermanja-manja pula. oh, sebut pasal 'barang keperluan', nanti saya ceritakan. next post ok.hehe.
berbalik pada topik sebenar, selepas ditolak segala keperluan makanan, keperluan buku, dan kepeluan minyak hitam kereta, saya berada dalam kondisi yang amat berjimat. sampai nak shopping pun kena tahan nafsu yg berkobar-kobar. nak dating lagi lah kena bersabar, walaupun kadang-kadang tak sabar jugak sebenarnya.

alkisahnya, kereta tersebut sudah lanjut usianya dan enjinnye tetiba taknak hidup pulak. nak cakap tak cukup minum, minyak ada lagi. nie semua gara-gara minyak naik, kereta tu pun nk protes jugak kan. ada kaitan ke? selepas diteliti dari setiap penjuru dan bertanya pada yang pakar, sudah dipastikan bateri kereta ada masalah.
ingatkan lepas recharge, boleh start dah. sekali kena tukar baru daaa ~ ingatkan murah je. memang berangan lah. approximate rm120 -rm150 utk harga bateri tu.haish. memang menduga betul kalau pasal maintenance bumbleBEE nie. so, terpaksa lah lebih kental menahan segala nafsu dan keinginan untuk berbelanja. so, sesiapa yang nak membuat amal, derma anda amat dialukan ;)